Santa visited … but I didn’t get what I wanted.

Dear Judy and friends,

 Just to let you all know I am alive and well.  You haven’t heard from me over the past few weeks as I had taken a “vow of silence” once I realized Santa Claus wasn’t going to take Maddy off my hands as I had asked.  Mind you all, my scheming almost worked as he did make a break for it on Christmas Eve when we were out for our nightly run through the neighbourhood playground.  All was going well until a car went by and Maddy gave chase.  I didn’t get in trouble either as even Santa’s elves missed seeing me nudging the gate open and everybody took my “woofs” as barks of concern instead of “run faster Maddy”.  I was so pleased with myself but that was short lived when I saw Maddy’s face up in a neighbour’s car being brought home!  Fwig!

 Other than that, Santa Claus was very good to us this Christmas…we both got lots of toys and even more treats!  The best part was when I was still allowed to tear open my presents (and everybody’s elses!!!) and Maddy didn’t seem interested in learning this skill from me.  Oh yeah, and we didn’t get any silly coats or sweaters to wear.  On second thought, though, it would have been fun if Maddy had received a sweater which read “President of Peaches Fan Club”…hmmmm!!!

 Speaking of “Peaches Fan Club” I am going to be celebrating my “Sweet Sixteen” birthday on Valentine’s Day…hmm…the day of love…because that is when I was adopted.  Since it would be too hard for all of you to send me parcels of treats (Peaches wanted to include her mailing address here but her owner put her foot down…much to Peaches’ dismay!) would you please ensure you all give your pets a treat and a belly rub and a kiss on the head in honour of my special day.  Oh yeah, if you have a cat, please don’t kiss them..yucky!

 I must go now as all of this typing is hard on my little feet!  Not to mention I have to pee!!!

 

Love, Peaches

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Dear “Reform School Teacher”

Maddy and Peaches (Yoda ... the wise one)

 

Dear Linda,

 

Thank you from the bottom of my smelly little toes for giving me a scheduled break from Maddy over the past six weeks or so.  I’ve thoroughly enjoyed sabotaging all of his “training” in the hopes he will end up being a “repeat offender” and have to return to obedience, err, reform school in the new year.  I’ve watched Dusan and John trying to get Maddy to practice his homework and I’ve caught on to a bit of it myself!  I now know, how to make him “sit” and I am trying to get him to “stay” long enough for me to disappear when we are allowed off leash across the river.  He still finds me though which is a bit of a problem because then I can’t tell Dusan and John that a big owl stole him!  Fwig!

 

Anyway, I overheard that this Thursday is the final night!  Fwig!  I realize this is a very busy time of the year as I’ve been “helping” Dusan wrap Christmas presents…I help by ripping the paper off so she has to start all over!  So, yes, I know it is busy but could you do me a big, big favour?  Please, pretty please, with lots of milkbones on top, could you “fail” Maddy?  To avoid sounding too harsh, maybe you could strongly recommend that he repeat the course after Christmas!?   Oh, and as an added favour, could you suggest he go alone so that I could have that extra hour a week alone with Dusan and John?    

 

Oh, as this coming Thursday, is it going to be a real graduation?  You know, the kind with the DINNER and dance?  If so, I didn’t receive my invitation yet and as an elderly dog, I would like to have two DINNER tickets in place of the one for the dance.  Would it be too much to ask to have my DINNER as a takeout so I wouldn’t have to leave the comfort of the couch?  Just asking!

 

Okay, that is all from me this morning.  Again, thank you for taking Maddy off my hands and please strongly consider keeping Maddy back a grade so he has to repeat everything he has learned.  Maybe you could start having 2-3 hours “slow-learner” classes just for Maddy? 

 

Merry Christmas!

 

Love your little furry friend,

 

Peaches

Letter to Santa

Dear Santa Claus,

 

I am sorry it has taken me so long to sit down to write you a letter this Christmas but as that familiar saying goes…”Santa…I can explain”.  Since I’ve been forewarned not to tell fibs (as if I ever would) I am going to be honest with you.  You see, Santa, I am kind of miffed this year because it appears my baby brother is here to stay despite my wishes, pleas, and prayers.

 

So, as I am getting quite desperate, I am willing to make a bargain.  “IF” you whisk Maddy away in his sleep and give him to Rudolph for a present,  I will forgo all Christmas presents this year.  I know it is a big “if” but here is what you get out of the bargain:

 

·         You and your reindeer get a built in guard-dog for you sleigh,

·         My presents can be given to some other, more deserving little dog

·         You will have brightened the life of a Senior Canine (that’s me in case you’ve forgotten!)

 

Of course, should you wish to “reward” my generosity, the following gifts would be appreciated: 

 

·         Toys for me

·         Treats for me

·         A muzzle for Maddy (hee-hee!  Just joking Santa!)

 

Please be good to all of the homeless and neglected animals this holiday season!

Love always,

 

Peaches

Woof-woof

Dear Santa

Dear Santa

A quick note from Peaches

Hi Judy,

 

Just a quick note to say hi and to say thank you for the lovely card you sent to Maddy and I.  We both had it read out loud to us as my eyes aren’t the best anymore for close up work and I can’t get the bi-focals to stay on my snout.

 

Life with Maddy continues to be a circus and Maddy is the chief clown and monkey all rolled into one. He barks at the weirdest things like crows!  I am tired of telling him that crows are okay and that it is best to save all barking for the neighbourhood dogs. We don’t want coming into our garden and taking “liberties” on our lawn, now do we? 

 

Did you know that it is almost Christmas time?  I still don’t have my letter written to Santa Claus but they tell me I have lots of time.  I have one secret wish this year….I hope Maddy passes his schooling and makes our Mommy and Daddy proud.  Now, before you think I’ve turned over a new leaf and actually like my baby brother, let me set the record straight.  

 

I really enjoy watching Maddy doing his “homework” and I hear he is going to have to learn to stay in a down position for 30 minutes!  What freedom I’m going to have then!  So far, I’ve been trying to sabotage his training by running up to him squeaking my toys when he is supposed to be listening!  Hee-hee!!!  I’ve gotten away with it so far by telling them I’m trying to be friendly.

 

I must go now as I feel another nap coming on…YYYYYAAAAWWWNNN!  Speaking of which, we had our pictures taken the other day wearing our matching plaid jackets (groan!) and in every picture Maddy is licking out his tongue!  Hee!

 

Love Peaches

 

Maddy is going to “Reform School”

I'm bored ... let's get going Dusan

I'm bored ... let's get going Dusan

Dear Judy and friends,

 

 

Sorry it has taken me a few days to get back into writing my “blog” but things have been busy.  On Friday, Maddy and I went to Gander and he had to wear a restraining device (a seatbelt) because they have finally realized how crazy he is.  He wasn’t too impressed and I took full advantage and sat on one side of the backseat licking my tongue out at him.  I used the excuse that I was cleaning my paws so my behaviour wouldn’t be noticed up in the front seat! Hee-hee.

 

Over the weekend, we had a movie night complete with popcorn!  I love popcorn!  I spit a few kernels out and Maddy, the dumb-bah, tried to chew on those!  Maddy and I fell asleep during the movie although I did wake when Maddy stretched and put his smelly toes were on my side of the couch.

 

On Sunday, I was visited by the “wish fairy” in my dreams when I heard about Maddy being signed up for “reform” (obedience) school.  I told him he would probably be sent away to a school for bad doggies if he didn’t listen so I think he will try his best to be good.  Apparently they had a “meet and greet” with the teacher on Sunday night so the “parents” would know what is to be expected.  I hope they were given directions to the Whitbourne penitentiary because I’m sure that is where Maddy is going to end up!

 

Monday went smoothly and I was so excited when it was time for Maddy to leave for “reform school” as I had the couch to myself.  Apparently Maddy barked like a ding-a-ling when he arrived at school but turned out to be a little timid around strangers.  Oh, but the funniest thing happened when he arrived home.  Apparently, old greedy guts has too many treats during training and when he came home he “fawted” and then he had “di-wee-a” and ended up having to have his bum washed!  I’m not sure how they knew which end was what because I can’t tell his bum from his face…hee-hee.

 

Give my love to all of my fans and remember to hug your pet(s) today, and tomorrow, and always!

 

Love, Peaches

 

Letter from Peaches’ Press Secretary

Dear Judy:

 

Please be informed the legal team of “Dewey, Spoil-Em, and Howe” has reviewed your recent request for photographs of Ms. Peaches and we are pleased to inform you that your application has been approved.

 

Ms. Peaches is quite willing to send your organization some publicity shots  but her expert legal team cannot approve any requests for autographs at this time.

 

Peaches has agreed to meet with us at “Dewey, Spoil-Em, and Howe”, over the next few days to review her portfolio.  This will ensure any photos released to the press will have her approval and will minimize any future lawsuits. 

 

In closing, Peaches sends along a hearty woof-woof to her growing fan club and reminds all members to hug their pet(s) today!

 

Sincerely,

 

 

Peaches’ Press Secretary

On behalf of “Dewey, Spoil-Em and Howe” Legal Consultants