A Letter of Introduction from Peaches

Dear Judy,

 

To those who doubt fame has to come early in life let me set the record straight….my name is Peaches and I am almost 16 years old and I’ve not only joined Face book in recent days but I’ve also been asked to write an occasional few words for the Central Paws Humane Society website.

 

First of all, I am not a purebred doggie but rather an interesting mix of shih-tzu and terrier breeds (I think there was a scandal in my family) and I am a pretty auburn colour.  My vet records say I am tan but I prefer being called a redhead as it sort of explains my name. Although my facial fur has grown whitish over the years my eyes are still bright and shine like black marbles…especially when I get into mischief…which is quite often!  I’ve grown conveniently deaf over the past few months and I love to sleep away my days dreaming of belly rubs and bowls of treats.

 

I was originally given to the SPCA for adoption way back in 1993 and I was very lucky that a nice family adopted me on Valentine’s Day when I was just about 6 weeks old.  Apparently I was so small, they put me in a shoebox!  Since then, of course, I’ve grown big and strong and now weigh between 20-25 pounds. 

 

When I was two, my family moved to a different neighbourhood and I quickly became friends with the next door neighbours.  Since they were retired they used to dog sit me every single day in their home while my family went to work and to school.  It worked out great for everybody and I was loved by two families!  This arrangement still goes on and I usually arrive at my dog sitters around 7:30 a.m. and I leave (sometimes very reluctantly) about 12 hours later.  I love it so much I even go on weekends and holidays!!!  I am such a part of my second family that I was a flower girl several years ago and I only barked when the judge asked if anybody objected to the marriage!  Woof!

 

In recent weeks, my life has been turned upside down!  My second family decided to adopt me a baby brother!  Maddy, a cream coloured, Pomeranian arrived about six weeks ago and was officially adopted less than a week ago.  I tried my best to put a stop to it as I was a wee bit jealous (okay, make that a whole lot jealous!!!) but despite my protests, Maddy is here with us to stay.  I suppose he is all right, I mean if I had to have a baby brother, I couldn’t have asked for a better one, but the point is I didn’t ask for one!  I think I was worried that my second family wouldn’t love me anymore once they had a doggie of their own but that isn’t the case.  I am still made to feel quite important and still get my share of attention….and treats.  Oh yeah, the only good point of having a baby brother (they claim he is anywhere between two to three years old which in my book is still a baby!) in the house is it sometimes means extra treats for me.  If we are getting a milkbone (they are my favourite!) all I have to do is to tell Maddy there is a squirrel in the back garden and he runs to the window and forgets his treat….which I promptly gobble up!  No good to be this old if you’re not smart!!!

 

Because I am not allowed to take my frustrations out on Maddy (it is difficult adjusting to change at my age) I’ve decided to vent by writing a blog for Central Paws…hence the various letters.  Since Christmas is closing in and Santa’s elves are watching me I am trying hard to be nice but would appreciate any offers at taking Maddy off of my hands…err…paws!  Hee-hee

 

Bye for now….

 

Your little furball friend,

Peaches xoxo

 

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COD to Australia

Hi Judy,

 

Dusan left the computer on so I am going to send you my own message without telling her.  I almost got rid of Maddy on Monday!  See, John was home sickie and I was the head nurse and Maddy was my assistant.  I told him assistants don’t sleep on human beds but it was okay for the nursie and he believed me!  He is some stunned.  Anyway, a parcel arrived for Dusan and when John opened up the door I pushed Maddy into the courier’s arms and said to mail him COD to Australia.  Apparently I was doing well until I said Australia because COD’s can’t be done with International mail.  Fwig.  I only said Australia because that is where Gary lives and I figured he could deal with Maddy by using him as a science experiment!  You know the kind…the ones where they examine animals without a brain!  Ha.

 

Oh, I got in trouble…again…yesterday when I noticed Dusan was on Facebook and had our pictures put on something called Dogbook.  I piped up from the comfort of my nest to say we should have used “Rodent-book” for Maddy and Dusan was not the least bit impressed!  Fwig…this is getting too close to Christmas and I have to start being good or else Santa won’t come for Maddy….

 

I overheard Dusan and John talking last night about putting Maddy in obedience school.  Can you tell me if this is the kind of school that has recess and bus trips because I would like to go too.  I tried going to kindergarten several times over the years but once I realized recess was only once or twice a day, I quit.  Dusan calls me the kindergarten dropout but just you wait until Maddy fails out of obedience school…we’ll see who the smart one is!

 

Oh, remind Dusan sometime about the story of how I was supposed to be Baby D’wesus in the Christmas Eve concert at church.  Lucky, my crazy cousin,  was the wooly sheep and we got in trouble but it was so close to Christmas that Santa forgave us and brought us presents anyhow.  Remind her and she will tell you someday.

 

Bye-bye…woof-woof…..Thank you for helping find homes for all of us little animals but I would like to return Maddy at your earliest convenience.  I’m sure he would make somebody really happy!

Peaches is wondering when Judy is coming by to “make it official”.

Hi Judy,

Just wondering if we are going ahead with today’s signing of Maddy’s
adoption papers? 

Peaches is anxiously looking forward to officially having a baby
brother….not….but will try to be on her best behaviour.  She figures since
Dr. Pike said she is approximately 98 in human years that she can do whatever
she flippin’ well pleases and if that means peeing on Maddy’s
head…well, so be it!  We’ve done our best to explain to her that Maddy is
not going to replace her as we feel our hearts have enough love for two doggies
but she isn’t so sure!  Oh well, I guess if I ever reach my nineties, I will
be a stubborn old cuss too.  Ha

Happy November!

Letter from Peaches to the girls at the Exploits Valley Animal Hospital

Maddy "aka The Toothless One"

Maddy

November 7th, 2008

 

 

Dear Denise and Tweena,

 

          Before I begin please don’t make fun of me because I can’t pronounce certain words/names so I write them as I say them.  Dusan helps me with the keyboard because my furry little paws often hit several keys at once but I’ve told her she has to write the letter just as I dictate to her.  Any side notes from Miss Manners Dusan will be in brackets and will be added without my knowledge! (hence the Tweena for Tina and Dusan for Susan)

 

          Yesterday went quickly from being a very good day to being a very BAD day in my opinion.  When I arrived at Dusan’s house in the morning John told me Maddy had to go back to see Dr. Pike to have his teeth cleaned.  He mentioned that Maddy would be “put to sleep” and I was very jubilant until Dusan chastised me for being mean and hurtful.   Fwig, I was only speaking my mind!

 

          Anyway, it turned out he only had to be sedated but at least I had the house to myself all morning.  I didn’t have a nosey little brother squeaking toys in my ears when I was trying to snooze away or have him barking at imaginary things in the back garden.  I even had my dinnie (dinner) in peace and went for a quiet stroll, and a pee and a sniff with John (John didn’t sniff OR pee!) before Dusan arrived home for lunch.

 

          Well, about 2:30 my peace was broken when Dusan and Missus (otherwise known as Susan’s mother, Winnie!)  walked in the door carrying the Maddy.  But for once, he wasn’t a little torment, in fact, he was quite sleepy.  Missus took me into the bedroom and explained that Maddy had to get 12 teeth removed and told me I had to be a good big sister and to let him sleep.  Dwesus Tyest, just when I had my chance at revenge! 

 

          I slowly made my way back to the living room where Dusan had Maddy’s bed and I noticed he was wrapped up in a blankie so I snuck a peek at him.  That’s when I saw his tongue stuck out of his mouth and I thought he was sticking it out at me so I couldn’t resist and I told him I hoped he turned into a “bucked-tooth geek of the week”.  I thought I said it quietly but Dusan heard me and I got a time out.  Fwig!!!

 

          After I had some time to repent (she actually fell asleep very unconcerned) I was allowed back in the living room and where I surprised everybody by lying down next to Maddy and watched him sleep.  I stayed there on the cold, hard floor (actually on a comfy rug!) for about an hour or so and I gave him a quick glance every few minutes.  While Dusan was praising me up all I was thinking was the poor little buggar couldn’t eat so that would mean more treats for me…but don’t tell Dusan I said that as she thinks I made a good nursie!

 

          It was soon after that when John arrived home and Maddy made a very weak woof and managed to crawl out of his nest and promptly pooped on the floor.  I was gob-smacked when John told him it was okay and simply picked Maddy up!  I haven’t pooped on the floor since the time I ate all the rabbit buttons (sad, but true) and I can’t remember getting praise!  Dwesus Tyest!

 

          From there on the day went to pot!  My daddy came over from next door to check on Maddy and he cuddled him into his chest.  To protest, I marched over to the china cabinet/treats cabinet and scratched on the door for a “feather” (Peaches calls those dehydrated chicken strips feathers!?) and I didn’t get one even when I barked loudly.  I did manage to get a Milkbone out of them though so it wasn’t a total waste of my time…which is a good thing as moving around isn’t the easiest when you are almost 16 years old. 

 

          Just when my daddy was trying to pry me off the couch (this happens every night!) Judy Hunter walked in the door and I knew it wasn’t a good sign when she said she had all of the paperwork ready.  She had a treat bag with her and gave us some treats but I spit mine back at her when I realized what she was there for.  Maddy gobbled up the ones I spit out covered in drool which just shows you how silly he is!  Then I got on the couch next to Judy and managed to stick my head into her treat bag…much to Judy’s amazement.  I had to check things out just in case she had any Milkbones in it!

 

          Okay, now hold your breath for this one…..I can barely write about it without needing “cuddle therapy” …….Judy read out the part about who was adopting Maddy and she read out “Susan, John, and Peaches Hamilton” and I nearly passed out.  Maddy was still staring ahead with that stupid glazed look and I thought to myself, “I’m going to need some of the mind-numbing drugs they gave to you to get through this”.  I was some mad and all Susan and John did was laugh and they told Judy how cute it was for her to include me in the process! D’wesus Santa better be some good to me this year as I’ve had quite enough!

 

          Ladies, please don’t think I’m a real bad doggy but when I’ve been the only doggy for almost 16 years and Maddy arrived without my consultation or approval I think I have a right to complain.  Come to think of it, I vaguely remember Dr. Pike telling Dusan and John to limit the stress in my life (what stress!  Peaches is the ultimate Comfort Hound!) due to my “weak heart” and what does she do but go get Maddy!!!!  He is 9.6 pounds of stress covered in fuzzy white fur.  Fwig!  I’ve got a “bone to pick” with Dr. Pike when I see her again for not telling Dusan off for adopting Maddy…after all, I do have a legitimate health concern!

 

          Never mind, I do have one last desperate plan “up my paw”….I am going to wait up for Santa Claus this Christmas and tell him he can have Maddy back and I won’t expect any toys or treats in return. Rudolph gets a silly dog for a pet and I get piece of mind!  Dusan and John told me my plan isn’t going to work but I live in hope!

 

          Until then, I remain Maddy Hamilton’s big sister.

 

Love,